Beans Beans They’re Good For….


Good for NOTHING I tell you. I didn’t want to believe the no bean eating hype that all the raw foodies talk about. I didn’t want to listen. Why? Because I love hummus. I love hummus like Greek people love togas. Like bees love flowers. Like…well. You get the idea.

So tonight I had some garbanzo beans. Organic. Raw. And it feels like there is an alien in my stomach kicking me.

Who knows…there very well could be an alien in my stomach kicking me, but if logic serves me right, I’m gonna say it was the beans.

Those darned beans! My stomach must be soooo sensitive because before I went raw I could eat beans and not even notice them giving me any digestive trouble. But alas, after weeks of being raw, my stomach is hurting. Like I just wanna lay down and curl up in a ball hurting.

So eff you, you good for nothing beans.

Tomorrow I’m going back to veggies. I’m putting you back on a shelf. I’ll have to try out that zucchini and sesame seed hummus I read about and see if that lives up to my high hummus expectations. If not, I’ll just become a guacamole convert. I love guacamole. Like bees love flowers…like … nude people in France love being nude.

Ahhhh France.

But where was I…oh yes! Beans! No good! Bad! Bad beans!

Just say no to beans kids. Auntie Lauren isn’t kidding.

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