A Frozen Veggie Nightmare

Sorry for the radio silence but I’ve had a crazy couple days!  I think it must be the full moon, or perhaps it was the veggie burger. 

Yes, it was the veggie burger.

I won’t say the brand name here, because I don’t want to get sued and I haven’t approached the brand yet personally to tell them what happened – (today is my first day of feeling back to normal) so I’ll get to that later today. 

But oh what a lovely 36 hrs it’s been!

Sometimes, when I run out of produce at the end of the week, I reach for a veggie burger.  It’s quick, easy, and will hold me over until I can restock on my greens!

Apparently this week, the one I reached for, was tainted.   It was one I have never had before, and a mere 6 hrs after eating it I was worshipping the porcelain god.  From 2am til 5am I was throwing up.  When I drank a cup of water, it just made it worse.  I am pretty sure that had they not been secured down, my spleen, kidneys, and heart would have projectiled out of my body as well.  It was honestly the worst instance of this I can recall.

After finally passing out, I woke up in a crazy amount of pain.  Curling up in a ball and hugging a pillow wasn’t helping.  I reached for my blackberry and emailed Marlena at The Sunshine Center.  She was kind enough to fit me in for a gravity colonic session.  After a 60 minute rollercoaster ride of nausea in my car, I made it to her detox center.   An hour and a half later, I walked out, nausea gone.  I felt a million times better.  Stomach pain gone.  Destructive poisonous veggie burger gone.  The only thing left to cure was my pounding heachache.  The dehydration from the night had clearly kicked in. 

I called my brother on the way home and told him what happened, and he arrived with saltines and gatorade.  I know coconut water would have been just as good, but I didn’t have the strength to chop open any coconuts.   I’ve never been so happy to see my brother with saltines and gatorade in my life.  I haven’t had gatorade since college but it was like a shiny beacon of light at this point.   I passed out after drinking the entire bottle.  Woke up around 8pm at night feeling more like myself again.

Ate some saltines.  Drank 2 cups of organic ginger tea.  Passed out at 11.  Woke up this morning at 6 and I feel FINE!

I FEEL LIKE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

Had I not gone to see Marlena to have a colonic session, I know I’d still be curled up in a ball in pain.  I know how long it can take to pass all of that stuff through your system and get it out on your own, and there was no way I was going to deal with that.  And who knows if it was something the burger was made with, or if it was an actual toxin… ecoli…whatever..you never know.   Whatever it was, it was evil and destructive, and I wanted it out of my body ASAP.

I told my mom what happened and she gasped!  I thought, oh no, what isn’t she telling me.  Then she said, “I had 2 bites of one of those burgers the other day and I thought it tasted funny so I threw it out.  I was going to return the rest of them back to the store.”  She also told me that eating those 2 bites did not agree with her stomach either and caused her some *issues*.

So.  Lesson of the day kids: Fresh is always best.  Even if it says a brand name you think is fabulous, and it’s a veggie burger, it’s not guaranteed fabulosity.

I honestly don’t think I’ll be able to eat a store bought veggie burger again…or at least for quite some time.  I’m going to make them from scratch from now on.

Anyone have a fabulous veggie-vegan-raw burger recipe they would like to share?

Afterall – you don’t wanna end up like this guy:

Lovely comments!

  1. if you find one please post it:)

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