Finding My Song

For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt this calling…or “pull”, if you will, to move to California.
Walking into a coffee shop to find organic coffee with a basket of stevia next to it sorta confirmed my suspicions.
I can walk into a cafe and find 100% fresh all veggie wraps.
I can walk into a grocery store and find raw coconut vinegar.
I can nap on the beach after work.
I can walk to the beach and listen to the ocean.
I can have deep conversations with people I just met.
Random people say hi to me when they pass me on the street.  They smile too. 🙂
Pedestrians get way more attention and care here than they do back east.
Riding a bike to a friends house down the street is way better than driving.
Actually, if you can avoid driving anywhere, you do.  Walk, bike, skip, surf, whatever your way there.
Everyone seems friendly.
My roommates are awesome.
The weather is ridiculous.
It’s February and I’m getting tan.
I’m making friends as fast as I can make raw sundried tomato ricotta “cheese” and that’s pretty darn fast.
I feel loved.
I feel at home.
I was talking to my roomie Rika today and I was reminiscing about how scared I was to move.
The what-if conversations I had in my head…what if no one likes me, what if I suck at everything I try to do, what if I can’t find my way around, what if I don’t make any money, what if I end up homeless on the beach!?
Then I laughed…homeless on the beach is actually pretty awesome. 
It’s funny to me now…how much I worried….but all things happen in God’s time and God’s plan.  That I know for sure.  Even if it’s something I can’t make complete sense of when it happens.  So I know the timing happened the way it did for a reason.  
I know I’m meeting the people I’m meeting for a reason.
I’m not going to try and control the situation, just going to go with the flow and live each moment…staying true to myself and my heart.  

I went running on the beach the other day.  Jumped in the ocean.
Layed down on the sand to dry off…and started gazing at the grains of sand.
They’re so tiny.  
An individual grain of sand is rough and gritty.
But all of those grains of sand together…are soft and silky.
The softest, smoothest bed of silk you could walk on…comes from bazillions of tiny gritty grains of sand.
And each grain is different.
Different colors.  Different ways of reflecting light.  Different surfaces.  Sizes…
with teeny, tiny shells mixed in.
God put so much creativity into one little grain of sand…and into the bigger picture…
How all of those grains combine as one.
We see a beach from a distance, but up close, it’s a Monet…an ever expanding Monet of tiny little grains of sand.
That’s sort of how people are…relationships…
We are all individuals…with different passions, loves, interests, complexities, smiles, energies, hopes etc.
Each of us- a unique and different instrument.
But when you combine us…  when we work together…..when we develop friendships and give love and collaborate, we become a symphony.  
One sound.
One note.
One energy.
Like the beach.
Like those grains of sand…combining into one bed of silk.

I guess what I’m trying to say, is that I’m discovering that when you follow your heart, when you follow your dreams, when you are true to your own individuality, your unique gifts and qualities…when you stand out as a unique and different instrument… and risk enough to travel your own path…

You find your symphony.

First you find the string section… then the horns… and before you know it, your life is a song.

Never a perfect song, but it will be a song that is perfect for YOU.

I’m slowly piecing together my symphony..and even though my song isn’t written yet, I’m still singing (off key probably, but I’m singing) 🙂

Cali feels like home to me and I love it here.  

Thanks so much for all of your support and encouragement when I needed it.
I read all of your comments, and even if I don’t have time to respond right away, know that I read them and it definitely means the world to me that you follow along on my journey and offer your insights and love.

So be the unique grain of sand that you are.
Be that different sounding instrument.
You’ll soon find your beach.
You’ll soon hear your song.

Lovely comments!

  1. I can feel your vibes through this post!!!! It feels amazing!!! I am so happy you are loving CA! I get excited for every post! Its like your sending us all a little bit of sunshine here in chilly PA ;0)

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