The Last Drop

Certain things are good to the last drop.
  • Water.
  • Green juice.
  • Tea
  • Smoothies
  • Raw banana milkshakes
  • Coffee (oh  – so sue me, I like my coffee – I don’t have it every day, and I only drink it black or with stevia)
Other things are not so good to the last drop.
  • Green smoothies that you mess up by adding mustard greens
  • Almond milk gone bad
  • Crazy shots with silly names 
  • Liquor
  • Kegs
  • Wine (In my case, it’s the wine.)
Or…it WAS the wine.
I’ve quit drinking.
Given it up, although giving it up makes it sound like a sacrifice, when it’s actually a God send.  Truly.
It’s a decision that I’ve wrestled with making for the past four years.   It seems like most social occasions revolve around alcohol, and personally, I think that’s bullshit.  Social lubrication.  A party can’t be a party without compromised thought and hindered reflex times. The only places people tend to gather are bars.  Clubs.   There’s always pressure to drink.  If you aren’t holding a drink, someone wants you to be.  When you turn 21 it’s this big drink-fest and sometimes that fest continues for decades.  What on earth does that do to our bodies?!
We’re supposed to get smarter as we get older, right?  At least that’s the hope…the goal.
For the past year or so, I’ve only been drinking wine, and on occasion.  For the past few months, I haven’t even purchased any.  I didn’t have it in my apartment.  I had wine maybe twice a month.
Not such a problem right?
But here’s the thing… Somewhere between one glass and the entire bottle is the problem.
I always have that “one glass” intention, and somehow it always turns into three, or the whole bottle.  Some people are just fine on an entire bottle of wine, but not I said the fly.
Now let’s do a simple formula:
Raw Food Lifestyle of eating mostly fruit and veggies + entire bottle of wine = OH SH*T.
It just doesn’t go together.  It doesn’t make for a fabulous intelligent me.
Who wants to wake up with a headache?
Who wants to feel awful?
After years of trying to succeed at moderation-social-drinker status, I’m happy to say, I’m throwing in the towel.  
Now I’ve attempted this before, but never told anyone and then crumbled under pressure when friends would invite me out, or a guy would ask me on a date, I mean…I already eat “weird” according to most people (how strange – fruits and veggies – eating from nature – so crazy strange!!!) and now I’m the girl who won’t accept a drink.
Some might think so.  But, to the right man it won’t be an issue. 
Funny that my resolve in the past has been wavered by my fear of what other people will think.
My friend Julie sent me an email recently asking how she could pray for me this week.  Julie is the best.  Sometimes just getting that email from her makes me teary eyed, because I think wow, she is all the way back in PA and hasn’t seen me in forever, and she wants to know how she can help me.  I love that woman.  And this was all I could think of.  I emailed her and told her that I needed God on this one.  I know that with God all things are possible.  I’ve found strength – insane, unmatchable strength in my life through God.  I wanted the strength to not waver.  The resolve to not bend.  The confidence to be completely comfortable saying no in a room full of people with drinks in their hand.  
I want to wake up every morning feeling refreshed and energized and go on early morning runs.  I don’t ever want to worry about who has to drive me home from a party.  I want to always be in control of my thoughts, words and actions.  I want to be me.  Raw me.  The true me.  The version of myself that I put together in vision boards and prayer.  Some people might think this is really hard to do, and I guess it can be.
But it can also be easy.
Like ones decision to stop eating meat.
Just decide to stop.
I follow Emily, writer of Daily Garnish a lot, and she had written this amazing post on why she quit drinking.
You can check it out here:
She penned that over a year ago, and I’ve read it about four times since she wrote it…always knowing that I wanted to, but was not quite there yet.
Well, I’m there.  Alcohol just has zero room in a raw, healthy vibrant lifestyle – for ME.
I know it’s not a decision for everyone.  There are plenty of people out there who can have one glass of wine and stop there.  I’m not one of those people though.   It’s a rare occasion that I would just have one glass to unwind.  Maybe at home with a book or a movie.  But out in social situations, it always turns into more.
Isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time?
So, I’m sharing this with you because when I write it down, it becomes real.  Really real.
Are there people out there who drink way more than I did?  Sure.  My having wine on occasion probably doesn’t compare to the summer vacation partiers getting wasted every night. But when I do have it, it always hits me hard, and just doesn’t fall into alignment with the person I want to be.  So I’m making this choice and this change for myself.
I am the only one responsible for me.
For my health.
For my life.
Just me.  Not you, not my friends, not my family, not the random guy in the bar who will feel insecure by my decision and feel the need to comment.  No one is responsible for me, but me.
This one is for me.  It’s been coming for a long time.  I just needed to find that strength within myself to finally say no more.  I’m choosing life.  The best version of it for myself.
For me, that comes with a club soda and lime. 
PS – for my friends that know where I live:  There are 2 bottles of wine, a new bottle of whiskey and a case of beer left over from my apartment warming over a week ago sitting in my kitchen.  Come take them before they get gifted to the neighbors.
I’m excited for an alcohol free life.
Excited for a better version of me.
Excited to fully realize all of my potential into reality.
Thanks for listening.
Happy Labor Day Everyone!

Lovely comments!

  1. so, so proud of you!!! You’ve always known what was right for you, calling you…now you are listening! Onward and upward, my friend!

  2. I LOVE YOU!!!!!! Sending you a hug through my laptop all the way to CT. Onward and upward!!!! xoxoxoxoxo

  3. Love you too!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  4. YAY!! 🙂

  5. Congratulations Lauren 🙂 After reading “The Easy way to stop drinking” by Allen Carr I was turned off alcohol. Am yet to write a post myself but am still pondering the idea. Well done xx

  6. Thanks, Ulyana, appreciate the support! I haven’t read that yet but I will definitely check it out!

  7. I feel like you read my mind on this post! I’ve been cutting out the booze and even though I drink very infrequently- around the once or twice a month that you mentioned- moderation is difficult for me to find. One trick I’ve learned in going out with a peer group of pressure drinkers is to get a seltzer and lime- it looks like you are holding a drink, so everyone leaves you alone. Our lifestyle can be so exhausting to try to explain day in and day out, that when I get an evening out, I don’t want to have to explain/justify my decisions anymore ;0) Thank you for inspiring me to stay my course and you have lots of prayers, love and support from me!

  8. Janie,

    I know what you mean. I’ve definitely tried that “mocktail” drink trick a few times and it works, although once people notice i wasn’t getting drunk I actually had friends ask what was in my glass…as if it has any effect on them. So I just had to make the decision for me. If I spent my life worrying about what other people thought of me, I’d never leave the house! haha So glad to hear you are staying the course and thank you for the support xoxo

  9. Janie – this line from a friend has always helped me – “The Truth Needs No Defense” – so don’t feel the need to justify or explain yourself or your choices. It’s your personal truth – it’s a healthy truth, and it just IS! You know? Eating from nature – eating food the way God provided it, that’s perfectly normal. Frying it, adding crap to it = not normal. Drinking water which keeps us alive= normal. Drinking too much liquid poison that taxes our organs and can kill us = not normal. Let’s redefine normal. With ZERO defense or justification. 🙂 XO

  10. This post is absolutely aweesome! I have had two glasses of wine since February, and it’s not b/c of the normal reasons, it’s because I can’t stand to think about what it’s doing to my body! How can I make all of these changes to my lifestyle and eat clean & work out so hard then waste it all on alcohol! My friends probably think I am crazy, but I have never felt better!

  11. Chris, that’s AWESOME!!! I completely agree. Rock on with your bad self!!! 🙂

  12. I just stumbled upon your website while actually searching for a recipe for pumpkin oatmeal cookies (and I found yours, which I am planning to try soon!!) and I just felt compelled to tell you that this post was really touching. I, too, made a decision about 3 and a half years ago to give up alcohol completely, mainly because I had the same problem of “one is never enough” and I have endured similar struggles along the way. I admire your strength and bravery and just wanted to thank you for sharing your story so candidly, not just in this post, but in your entire site. I will plan to keep reading!

Leave a reply?