About That Thigh Gap…


I feel like no one is standing up and saying this, so, if you don’t mind, I’ll take the floor for a bit.

I recently re-watched the film Inception.  If you haven’t seen it, definitely check it out.  Great flick.  There’s a quote in the film where Leo’s character says, “What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm? An idea. Resilient… highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it’s almost impossible to eradicate.”

Where can you find ideas constantly swirling around?  Social Media.  I’m a fan of social media.  Most of you are here because you found this website either through word of mouth, or via one social media network or another.  Maybe you saw a recipe post on Facebook.  Maybe you found me on Instagram and made your way here.  Information and ideas now travel at lightning speed across the internet.  That’s amazing!  That’s also utterly terrifying.

What if the information, the post, the recipe…the idea – what if the idea that you stumbled upon wasn’t good for you?  What if it seemed alluring and came in just the right packaging from someone you consider to be a social media “friend” and now that idea has permeated your mind.  Like a virus.

What if that idea came with a hashtag # <—that’s a hashtag (known as “pound” on your phone).  You see, we create the world that we live in.  We create the world around us with our thoughts.  Our thoughts dictate how we feel, how we feel dictates how we act.  Our thoughts create our behavior.  Our behavior creates our world.  Want to change your behavior?  You must first change your thoughts.  You must first press STOP on that tape that’s playing inside of your mind.  You know the tape that I’m talking about.  The tape that says: “I’m not good enough.  I’m not ______ (insert your word of choice here) enough…not tall enough, not fit enough, not pretty enough, not manly enough, not athletic enough, not smart enough, not good enough, not enough.  I’m not enough.”  There it is.  The crux of the problem.  We’ve all been taught, told, or made to feel that we were not enough at one point (or several points) in our lives.

I’m here to tell you that that is simply not true.  I know for a fact that you ARE ENOUGH.  Just as you are.  You were created by God.  You are a child of our Creator! He created you out of LOVE and He loves you.  You’re a divine work of art.  You are more beautiful than a sunset on a tropical island.  You are more stunning than a perfect crescent wave crashing in on the beach. He created those beautiful eyes and that inviting smile…your loud laugh and two left feet.  You’re unique.  One of a kind.  Now read this paragraph again.  Go ahead. I’ll wait.


So replace the tape you have playing in your mind that says, “you are not enough”  with the paragraph above.

Good.  Feeling better?  Now let’s take a look at ideas flying around on social media aka the land of hashtags.   I’ve seen some pretty disturbing hashtags…things like #thighgap or #thinspo – which refer to a woman being thin enough to have a gap between her thighs, and “thin-spiration” instead of inspiration.  There are several others but I’m choosing to just focus on these two.

First, some observations from life: There are thin people who do not have a gap between their thighs.  There are overweight people who DO have a gap between their thighs.  When someone sees an alluring photo of a woman with the hashtag #thighgap under it – what happens?  Well, I can’t speak for all so I’ll speak for myself.  I immediately wondered, do I have a thigh gap?  Is there a gap between my thighs? Because certainly I want to be considered as beautiful as this woman in this photo.  Is there something wrong with me if I don’t have one?

I caught myself checking for one the next time I stood in front of a mirror.  That idea had made it’s way into my brain. That simple hashtag and the image attached to it stuck with me.

Whether or not you have a “gap” between your thighs has zero baring on your beauty, your value and your worth.  Remember, you are a child of the Creator.  If the Creator is the King, that makes you His Princess or His Prince.  To objectify yourself for body parts is so beneath you.  So far farrrrrr beneath your worth…into the dark reaches of never neverland.  Don’t even go there.  It’s icky there.  You are a soul in a body.  You are not your body.  Your body is your vessel in which you get to live out this one, brilliant, brief and fabulous, loving life.  Care about being healthy.  Care about making time to be active and fit.  Eat fresh, good foods, and move your body! You want this body to last a long time, so that you can DO all of the things you LOVE with all of the PEOPLE that you love!

That is what life is about.  Life is not about a measly space between your thighs.  Life is not about finding inspiration to be thin, or following those that post such images on social media.  Unfriend those people. Do it.  You don’t need that idea – that virus – taking up space in your brain.

If Leo’s character is right, an idea IS the most resilient parasite. It’s highly contagious.  Be careful which ideas you let into your mind.  They swirl around inside of your thoughts, which create how you feel, which dictates your behavior.  They can travel at lightning speed in today’s social media saturated world.

So that’s what I wanted to say.  Your worth and your value is beyond anything you can imagine.  Being healthy is important if you want to live a long, disease-free life.  Being fit and active is important.   But that’s where it ends.  You don’t need bigger breasts.  You don’t need a smaller tush.  You don’t need a gap between your thighs.  If that’s your main focus, I think there may be a gap in your brain.  I know, harsh, but hashtag #braingap might just sweep the nation.  Just like #clancy (classy and fancy…I’m so clancy!) – I know, I need to stop inventing words and hashtags.

So I’ll wrap this up and leave you with a list…

Here is a list of things I notice about you:

I notice your smile when I first see you.  The way it makes your eyes light up.

I notice whether or not you look happy.  Did you have a rough day or was it easy breezy?  I can see that from your expression right away.

I notice if you seem quiet.

I notice if you look sad.

I notice if I think you might need a hug or could use a laugh.

I notice the way you talk to other people…you always are so genuine.

I notice the time you take to listen to me even when I think I’m talking too much.

I notice your confidence and how you enter the room like it’s yours, every time.  Sometimes I wish I had that much confidence too.  It makes me wonder if it’s real, and then you smile with that warm, genuine smile, and I know that it is.  It makes me feel happy.

I notice how you play with your sister’s children as if they were your own.  It warms my heart to see it.

I notice when you over-tip at the restaurant.  That makes me smile because I remember how hard it was to make good tips when I was a waitress.

I notice when you hold the door for someone.

I notice when you pull out my chair.

I notice every single time you say “Thank You” and I notice when you say “God Bless You” when I sneeze.

I notice when you text me that little smiley face emoticon on the phone.  It makes me think you are extra happy and I love that.

I notice when you take the time to talk me down off of a ledge, to help me neutralize a bad day and clear my head.  You listened to me rant for a good 30 minutes and you still responded like Yoda.

I notice when you play with your dog as if he was your child.

I notice how amazing you look without makeup.

I notice what a beautiful human being you are and it makes me feel lucky and blessed to be around you.

Here is a list of things I DON’T notice about you:

I don’t notice if you have cellulite.

I don’t notice that sunspot on your face that you are so self conscious of.

I don’t notice that scar that you have.

I don’t notice whether your muscles are extra large today.

And I certainly,

Most certainly…

DO NOT NOTICE whether or not you have a space between your thighs.

That’s just about the silliest damn thing I’ve ever heard.

Don’t you agree? Let’s spread some #love and #truth and stop with the #lies.


Lovely comments!

  1. SO true. Thank you for standing up to say this 🙂 I fully love your view that it is all about our thoughts. This is exactly what I discovered in my recovery from my eating disorder. In order to fully recover, I needed to change the “mental food” I was feeding myself. I believe this is universal. We all need to nourish ourselves with our thoughts, just as we nourish ourselves with food. <3

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